Tying a Different Style of Knot

A week ago last Saturday—the Indians work Saturdays, and we can choose whether or not we go in also—I was working for a few hours, and one of my co-workers, whom I barely know since he works on another team, brought me two wedding invitations (one for Steve & Mary). They were for the Hindu wedding of his eldest brother, to be held the following Tuesday and Wednesday. As is common, the reception would be on Tuesday evening and the wedding the following morning. Generally, the wedding is attended by family and close friends, but exceptions are nearly always made for us foreigners. Since I had been told that I should try to attend one Hindu wedding while I was here, this seemed to be something I shouldn’t pass up.

With an escort provided by the office—are they afraid to let us out on our own?—we left a little after eight o’clock Wednesday morning in a cab for a ride to a somewhat distant part of Chennai. When we arrived around nine o’clock, the stated time of the start of the wedding, we were invited to go upstairs for breakfast. That was quite interesting, as we ate off banana leaves, and young men came around serving food out of metal buckets. I wish I had a picture of that meal, but will have to wait until I attend something similar.

After a while, the music downstairs got louder and we were informed that the ceremony was due to begin. As we went down to a good-sized hall and prepared to sit in about the 5th row from the front, the brother of the groom went up to the first row and had three people move back to make room for us! I felt bad, but there wasn’t much we could do. And it did give us the best view we could ask for.

That view still wasn’t great, as this ceremony is for the participants, rather than the spectators. But there was a man with a video camera, and some of the action was shown on the TV screen in the front as it was happening. (And it was informal enough, away from the couple, that Mary could walk up a ways to get some nice pictures.)

Up on a stage there was a square pavilion, about ten feet wide, I guess, covered with garlands. Within that sat a Hindu holy man, shirt-less, with a younger assistant standing nearby. As the bride and groom sat, stood, or walked throughout the ceremony, words were spoken, incense was lit, baskets and platters of food and various gifts were passed around. Nothing was actually explained, so I can’t tell you the meanings. There was a point later in the ceremony where a basket of colored rice was passed around and the guests all approached the pavilion to throw rice at the couple. (Thought that was quite interesting.) But that wasn’t the end, rather was followed by additional rituals. As you can see, it was certainly beautiful.

All in all it was interesting, but not something I’ll probably do again. Marriage is very sacred to the Indians, but it was sad to see them praying to false gods for theirs to succeed. Oh, and you might wonder whether the bride and groom had met before the ceremony. I don’t have that inside information, but based on the people I’ve talked to here, there’s a good chance that their parents arranged the match, but they were allowed to spend a little time getting to know each other before the wedding.

Having changed clothes for pictures and greeting guests:

Can you pick out the brother of the groom?

And these were just really cool. (Not for consumption!)