Tuesday, April 22, 2008
I've Left
Why was it hard? Well, first there was the packing. Yes, I bought too much stuff. Even after pulling out some things that I brought from home and can easily and cheaply replace when I get back there, fitting it all into my two large suitcases, carry-on, and laptop bag didn’t seem quite doable. I did end up leaving behind a couple books, but not much else that I would really have liked to fit. You might be amused to know that I’m wearing a watch on each arm—has worked out rather well, because I can set them to different time zones—as well as a couple bangle bracelets. And no, that wasn’t a fashion decision. (Those suitcases are REALLY packed.)
As you might guess, it was also rather hard emotionally. Having my landlady in tears after praying for my trip was a bit of a surprise, though for weeks now she’s been telling anyone who would listen how much she’s going to miss me. I’ll miss her, too. And saying good-bye to the group at work? No tears, but certainly sadness. I remind myself that we’ll still instant message, talk, and even have video conferences, but as I’m hugging a co-worker good-bye (only females, of course) it’s so evident that it will never be the same.
I’m sure I’ll be glad to be back home. It will have to feel good to blend in with everyone else around, and to just automatically know what’s appropriate in the culture. I expect to enjoy driving again, and am pretty sure I’ll be fine with not bargaining over prices.
But when I left Orlando six months ago, it was with a confidence that I’d return shortly. India? I refuse to say I won’t be back—sorry, Mom—but the future, as always, is a mystery. If there are more adventures like this one to be had, don't count me out!
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Can It Be?
Am I eager to get back home? Well, as I've packed and said my good-byes, I have become excited about seeing everyone back home, and getting back to things I'm familiar with, such as driving in an orderly fashion down streets with marked lanes!
Am I eager to leave? That's a different story. There have been a few moments where an interaction here has left me wondering how I can possibly go. This has been an adventure beyond my dreams, and it's hard to see it end.
As a matter of fact, I've begun compiling a list of reasons that I need to come back. (Sorry, Mom.) While I've fit a few new experiences into my last week here--I've always needed a sense of urgency to really get moving--it just hasn't been possible to do it all. Doesn't look as though I'm going to be able to:
- Ride a "government" bus, the ones that take people around the city. Mary and I had talked about doing this, since she had done it once or twice with an Indian, but it never worked out.
- Ride a share auto, which is a larger version of an auto rickshaw that has a defined route and can sure squeeze a lot of people on (which is the fun part, of course).
- Check out the tower that's just a 10 to 15 minute walk from the office and would let me look out over a portion of Anna Nagar (the part of Chennai where I live and work).
- Visit the ministry of Jacob Beera, which is, I'm told, just an overnight train trip from Chennai. I've been familiar with his ministry of children's homes and evangelistic crusades since the 80s. Can't believe I didn't work at arranging a visit, since he's located in the state just above Tamil Nadu.
- Attend a Christian wedding. I know two people getting married (not to each other) in May, and probably would have been invited to both, but alas, I'll have to settle for pictures.
Hmm. I'm sure there were more. I'll work on it. But for now, I'm working on fitting things in my suitcases and somehow saying good-bye to a land and people that are quite firmly entrenched in my heart.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
My Overseas Birthday
Also, I had told a few people of the tradition at my office back in Ohio that required us to bring in our own birthday treats for our co-workers. That had always worked out well. So, on the way in to the office this past Wednesday, I stopped at The Grand Sweets and Snacks and picked out half a dozen each of five different Indian sweets that looked good to me.
But I had done some laundry that morning, and gone to Mary and Steve's for homemade bagels (what a birthday treat that was!), so I got in to the office quite late. It was really too close to lunch to start handing out treats, so I didn't say anything. Besides, after everyone has come back from lunch, we have tea, so I thought I'd have a little work meeting with the team, and also pass out some sweets. After that, I would take the rest to the people on the other IT teams, as well as friends in the HR department.
In the meantime, one of the guys on the team, who had taken half a day off to go with his father to the doctor, called in to say that they were still waiting and he would have to be gone the whole day. Yet another snag in my plan; I blurted out to the woman I was working with that he would miss the birthday treats I had brought in. And that was my big mistake; she gave me up!
Even my afternoon plans were not working out: the team of six never seemed to be working at their desks at the same time. Where were the three young guys on the team? Had they gone for a snack right after lunch? Even so, why weren't they back? Things were getting strange, and I was beginning to get suspicious. When Steve came by--he had been ill and not in the office much that week--the head of HR needed to talk to him privately. At that point I was convinced that something was going on, and was not too surprised when Steve told me that we were wanted down in the HR office.
Sigh. In the center of the office was a cake with the words, "Happy Birthday, Cathy Williams" and about 20 people showed up to sing a full three verses (Did you know?) of the standard birthday song. Yes, candles to blow out, too. Since my treats had not yet seen the light of day, I brought them down also, and we had a nice feast. Afterwards, very much in keeping with the Indian Christian traditions, the manager of the entire office prayed a lovely prayer for me.
So, it was a lovely day, and the fuss I tried to avoid was just arranged in less time than if I had given some warning. That evening Steve, Mary, and I went to the home of an Indian family that we've gotten to know mostly through the ministries Mary works with. The invitation had nothing to do with my birthday, but Mary hadn't been hesitant to give out that information, so there was a second chocolate birthday cake, with candles, but just one verse.
I'll have no trouble remembering my overseas birthday, and it will probably always be with a chuckle. Remember those guys that disappeared from the office in the afternoon? The cake was from the whole office, but the gift they picked out was from the team of six Indians that works with us. Who do you think this is suppose to be, anyway? She just doesn't look Indian.

Friday, March 28, 2008
A Little Indian Humor
Him: Status is very important to people here. When they see me on a bike, they'll think I can't afford a 2-wheeler.
Me: Back home we have bumper stickers on cars that say something like, "My other vehicle is a BMW." You could put one on your bike that says, "My other vehicle is a 2-wheeler."
Him: Yes, but then they'll think, oh, he can't afford the petrol (gas) for his 2-wheeler. I'll have to further explain on my sign, ". . . and yes, I can afford the petrol. I'm riding this for the exercise." To which they will respond, "Aha, he can't afford a membership to a health club!"
Ah, so glad we've gotten beyond such pettiness back home. ;- )
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
My Ghostwriter
You may remember from a previous blog post what a harrowing thing it is to cross the street here. Eventually I learned that most drivers do actually try to avoid you – except for city buses. I'm pretty much convinced that they try to run you down. (I think it's a contest, but no one will tell me what their prize is.) The other day I was crossing the main road near the office, and there happened to be a very short man beside me (you would be amazed at how many very short Indian men there are). After getting to half way, the light was still with us, but there was a bus waiting on the second side. It wasn’t moving, so I didn’t consider it too much of a threat, but the really funny thing is that the man, starting to run, looked toward me (most people on the street act as though they don't see me, and certainly don't talk to me), and said something very close to, "Run, city bus!" To see someone else actually admitting to panic over one that wasn't even really moving at the moment, just really struck me funny. Two days later, I still can't think about it without smiling. But I understood. And, yes, I ran!
Friday, February 22, 2008
What Pride?
Sometimes after work, I have an informal Tamil lesson from one of my Indian co-workers. Today I practiced some of the words on my way in to the office, while referring to my "cheat sheet." When I came in the door, I tried one phrase (basically "How are you?") out on the receptionist. I had to say it several times before she could figure out what language I was speaking, let alone understand the phrase. Not a resounding success.
I decided to try again with my teacher. Surely he would understand. Still took at least three repetitions, before he replied, while shaking with laughter, "I was doing fine before you got here."
Desperate for success, I tried again with another co-worker. Totally confused looks were my only reward. I gave up temporarily, needing to go do something that offered me some chance of success.
After lunch I pulled out my cheat sheet again, reminding myself to slow down and focus on speaking clearly. My third victim from the morning's fiasco was even willing to stand and chat with me, in English, but throwing around a few of my Tamil vocabulary words. As the three younger guys on the team returned from lunch, something came over me. I believed that I, even I, could speak Tamil and be understood. "Sappitingala?" ("Have you had your lunch?") I threw out, slowly and clearly. Yes (or maybe it was Yeah), came back the answer, accompanied by smiles and even applause. I probably shouldn't admit it, but I took a slight bow.
A little success made me crave more. (Heard in an unidentified Indian house in Chennai, "Didn't it sound like that foreign woman was asking someone over and over whether she had had her dinner, as she walked by?") I greeted my landlady this evening in English, so as not to immediately startle her, but followed it slowly and deliberately with "Sappitingala?" (The question also applies to dinner.) "Illai," she answered with a smile, and watched to see whether I understood her answer. I did!
Thursday, February 21, 2008
How Many People Does It Take . . .


This was taken right after my "adjustments," with Jerry, the receptionist; Jemimah, the only other female on the programming team; and the three lovely HR ladies. Yes, I'm a little taller, but otherwise I'm pulling this whole ethnic Indian thing off, right?

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Sunday, February 10, 2008
Thirty-Six Days
Enter Mom, who’s not going to let a little risk and expense—turned out to be more than a little—keep her from getting some good, dark chocolate to her daughter who is suffering (yes, meant to be read with a smile) in India. She let me know that she had sent it on January 4, so I started watching for it about two weeks later.
It’s a good thing I wasn’t holding my breath. Two weeks, three weeks, four weeks. . . . Hope waned. Mom mentioned other items in the box that she hoped someone was making good use of. I tried to face the fact that, even if it did eventually arrive, the chocolate might not be any good, after all this time in a warm country.
This finally moved me to actually go to the post office to inquire about it. After sending someone to check on it in the back, it was obvious that the man I talked to agreed that it should have been here by then (nearly four weeks after it had been sent). But he assured me that it would probably arrive tomorrow or the next day. (Is endless optimism a common Indian trait? I’m not sure; I’ll have to watch for that.)
Well, when I arrived home yesterday, there was a box sitting in my landlady’s living room. I tried to hold my reaction until I knew for sure that it was mine. Her enthusiastic greeting increased my hope. “You owe me a treat!” she said. Not only had she sent a friend to the post office to inquire for me—though with no more success than I had—but she had repeatedly asked the mail carrier to watch for it. Her son suggested that it had had to go through customs, so that probably explains the thirty-six day delivery period.
The contents seem fine, and there were several things that I didn’t know were coming. I’ll not give a detailed inventory, but I’m now the happy owner of not only two kinds of dark chocolate, but also tea, hot cocoa, cough drops, and two microwavable meals, in addition to a couple of toiletry items.
Sure, I could have continued to live without all of these items (maybe not chocolate, but you can get that here, even if it’s not as good as what she sent), but it was so nice to receive a care package from home. Thanks, Mom!! And thank you, Lord, for getting it here!
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
All Things Become New
Don't try to find that gallon of milk in Chennai, though. Half gallon? Nope. Liter?
Well, that you can hunt down, as long as you don't look in the refrigerated section. No, it's right there on the shelf, complete with warnings that it's "best" before 120 days from manufacture, and should be refrigerated once it's opened. Now that's a good deal--just load up those pantry shelves and toss one in the fridge the night before you're going to need it. One problem—could you see this coming?—it's just not that tasty. Whatever "toned" and "flash heated" mean, it's not "taste unaffected." As usual, you pay a price for convenience.Yes, there is another option for the milk connoisseur. You can buy a half-liter of pasturized, delicious milk in a bag. But this you need to drink within a day, or two at the most. As usual, you pay a price for taste.

Could there be a best-of-both-worlds? Yes, there is, when you live in India, with a sweet, elderly widow. I don't know if they're called "milk men," but there are people who will deliver these bags of milk right to your door in Chennai! In fact, some of the gates have milk boxes mounted on them. When I discovered that my landlady had a bag (or maybe two) delivered each day, I asked if I could get one each day along with her. Since she has assumed quite a bit of responsibility for my health and welfare—and there's really nothing I can do about it one way or the other—she went right to work on it.
There's one more thing you should know. Traditionally Indians have boiled their milk before using it. There was a day when it was essential, but now the bagged milk is pasteurized,
and it is not necessary. But—and I report this based on observation and discussion—the older generation just isn't comfortable drinking milk that hasn't been boiled. Those in my generation will freely admit that it isn't necessary, even as they are going about the daily ritual of boiling it. So, my landlady takes my bag of milk each day and puts it into a "milk boiler" until it whistles for a while. Then she pours it into a little metal kettle that she has set aside for my use. (Warm milk on cereal is really a lot tastier than it first sounds.) After I finish off my day's worth of milk in the evening, I wash out the kettle and make sure it's back on the dining room table before I go to bed, so it will be filled with delicious milk once again, before I arise for the day!Okay, yet one more thing you just have to hear on this subject. I know some of you remember the days of the milkman bringing the bottles to your doorstep. My landlady remembers when they used to bring the cow from house to house and fill up their containers!
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
A Taste of Kerala
We had a lovely time, and they could not have been kinder or more gracious. While we live in Tamil Nadu, this couple is originally from Kerala--those two states together comprising the southernmost part of India. Their food is a little different, but rice is still the staple, unlike the north, where bread is more popular. Their language is also different from the Tamil spoken here--good thing we all spoke English!
I'm always game for anything like this, but there's also a little uncertainty for me when it comes to food. I had nothing to worry about here. We had two kinds of rice (one specifically the type they eat in Kerala), lovely chicken curry (initially described as "bird"--was it the surprised look on my face that caused him to further clarify?), chapatis (thin, flat, round bread, very nice for tearing pieces off with which to scoop up other dishes), a mixture of delicious vegetables, beet root, bitter gourd (might take a little getting used to) and more. Nothing very spicy, but all very good. Oh, if you're wondering, they offered silverware, but we declined.
The most unusual thing about the experience, for me, was that neither of our hosts ate with us. There was room at the table, and he sat with us the whole time. The wife also sat down, when she wasn't busy serving. They never explained themselves--the rest of the group was not surprised by their not eating, and I seemed to remember reading something about it--but at one point mentioned that they would be eating lunch before going to pick their kids up from school. Odd to us, but normal to them, I guess.
We took an auto rickshaw to and from their apartment, so on the way home we had to walk a short ways to get to a main street where we could hail one. There it hit me that I definitely live in one of the nicer parts of Chennai, a truth that only becomes apparent through comparison. But I don't think this family would consider themselves poor. And nothing important really seemed to be lacking.
Yet another lovely day in Chennai.
Sunday, February 3, 2008
Still Here
Did I tell you that there was a period where I was just so tired of being different? No matter what I did as far as dressing, eating, etc., every time I walked onto the street, I was an oddity. I just couldn't blend in. Well, my skin is as light as ever, and my hair is way too short, thin, and non-black, but I think I'm over it. Let them wonder, but this is where I live. In fact, for six months (two and one-half yet to go), this is where I belong.
Now that things like crossing the street and living to tell about it are becoming old hat for me, I'm able to focus a little more on the finer points of Indian culture. Let me tell you a couple of the things I've learned recently.
As you may remember, I'm living with a lovely, older, Indian widow. Very often when I come in to the house in the evening, she'll ask me whether I've had my dinner. Since my ex-patriot friends and I have gotten into the habit of having a larger meal earlier in the day and having a light meal or snack in the evening--plus I tend to eat later anyway--I usually answer in the negative, but quickly add that I'm planning to have a snack, baked potato, etc. But I've wondered why she persists so in asking. Well, someone at work was trying to teach me a little Tamil, and mentioned that asking whether a person has had her lunch yet (or dinner) is a common Indian courtesy. And if you're at someone's house and answer that you haven't, their gracious Indian standards of hospitality pretty much ensure that you'll be offered something for the meal. Ah! So my hostess continues to ask just because she's Indian.
Another difference that I've been impressed with in this country is the formality of gift giving. As an honored guest at the office where I work, I've often been asked to help give out gifts. For example, when the office had a Christmas lunch, complete with gift exchange, I was one of the first to be invited up to hand out gifts. This consisted of standing on the stage, having a present handed to me, and immediately handing it to the recipient, who had been called up to the stage to receive it. My role certainly didn't seem essential, but I've learned that it was an important one in this culture. As another example, when Alain returned from his Christmas visit to Switzerland, he brought lots of chocolate and wanted to give some to the twenty or so people who work with us in the programming department at the office. He put it all in one spot and invited everyone to come and take what he wanted. People were not reluctant--it was all gone pretty shortly--but a co-worker asked if that was a common way of giving something out back home. Of course, it is; we often like to give people the option of taking as many or as few as they like. But he let me know that here in India, they would always go around to each person's desk and hand him a piece. (And you would not refuse it, but you could slip it to a friend later, if you wanted. I checked.)
Don't get me wrong. Alain's giving out his chocolate in a non-Indian way was not a failure on his part, or an insult to the people at work. Everyone understands that we come from different cultures and different things seem normal to us. But it's interesting to learn what is important to people here.
And it's fun to find out how I can become "more Indian," without coloring my hair!
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Light Up the Night
The palace isn’t really all that old. It was rebuilt with much help from the British, during the time of the maharajas, after the old palace burnt down in the 1890s. But it was quite a home at one time. The really spectacular thing is that, for one hour (7:00 – 8:00 PM Sundays), it is lit up with 97,000 light bulbs! Quite an incredible display.
Side of palace, lit: 
Front gate, from inside, lit:
Novelty--taking picture in mirror:
Unlit, still impressive:
And through the front gate: 
Sunday, January 6, 2008
Happy New Year!
You might be interested in how I celebrated the coming of the new year. Well, you might if I had done anything interesting. Actually, Mary, Steve, and I spent about seven pleasant hours coming the other direction on that express train (it was a longer trip because we had traveled further away from Chennai—another thing I need to tell you more about later) then were pleased to find a reasonably priced cab for the trip home from the train station. (The cab made a noise that none of us had heard an engine make before, but it made the 20 to 30 minute trip with no evident difficulties.) We arrived home slightly after 10:00 PM on New Year’s Eve, with no desire to do anything but get settled back in and have a good night’s rest. However, I’m never quite comfortable with letting an old year slip away and a new one slide in without being awake to see it happen. So, after Skype chats with my mom and a friend, I found an Internet site that was counting down the seconds to the new year in India time. Nothing dramatic—when it got to zero, it started counting up the seconds in the new year. But I was there to see it happen. And I did hear lots of fireworks going off right after midnight. They sounded impressive, but I didn’t want to go wandering around at that time of night, and could see almost nothing from the house due to trees and buildings. After that I called another friend, which is a lot safer to do when you know it’s mid-afternoon in her time zone. That’s it. Well, except for fighting off the mosquitoes once I did try to turn in. They ended up winning our first battle of the new year, but they won’t win them all!
It would probably be more interesting to you to hear about how the Christians here in India celebrate New Year’s. When a friend back home expressed surprise that January 1st was a holiday here—in fact, the office was closed on the 31st, also—I replied that New Year’s is a secular, rather than Christian, holiday, so why wouldn’t they? However, I’m not sure how accurate my statement was. My landlady told me that the Christians do more to celebrate it than those of other common religions here. She left for a service at her church shortly after I arrived home that evening, and didn’t get back in until around 2:30 AM. Their celebration consisted of a time of worship, prayer, and testimonies, followed by a light snack. A young woman that I work with spent that extended weekend with her family in a more southern part of India. Their service extended from 10:00 PM to 5:30 AM. I guess I was too impressed or in shock to inquire about the details of that one! Apparently some other churches have services at more reasonable hours on the 1st. So, it varies, but a worship service is an important part of seeing the old year out and the new year in.
In all of this, I was well aware that 2007 was a slightly shorter year for me. Since I started it in the eastern time zone of the US and ended it where the time is ten and one-half hours earlier, I lost those ten and a half hours. But I have great expectations for 2008, since I should gain them back!
You may think that my New Year’s resolution was to write fewer blog entries, in which case I’ve done a splendid job of keeping it. No, I bypassed the resolution-making, and have just had a busy first week: getting settled back at home, washing most of my clothes, and picking up our systems project where I left off. I know there’s a lot I still haven’t told you about my surroundings and activities here; if you’re willing to keep reading, I’m willing to jump back in and tell you more about what continues to be a fascinating adventure for me.