Still Here

Greetings! Perhaps I need to reintroduce myself. Sorry for such a long break in new entries. I was warned before I came over here that things would begin to seem normal after a couple months. There's a fair amount of truth to that, though I'm not going so far as to say that India feels like "home" at this point.

Did I tell you that there was a period where I was just so tired of being different? No matter what I did as far as dressing, eating, etc., every time I walked onto the street, I was an oddity. I just couldn't blend in. Well, my skin is as light as ever, and my hair is way too short, thin, and non-black, but I think I'm over it. Let them wonder, but this is where I live. In fact, for six months (two and one-half yet to go), this is where I belong.

Now that things like crossing the street and living to tell about it are becoming old hat for me, I'm able to focus a little more on the finer points of Indian culture. Let me tell you a couple of the things I've learned recently.

As you may remember, I'm living with a lovely, older, Indian widow. Very often when I come in to the house in the evening, she'll ask me whether I've had my dinner. Since my ex-patriot friends and I have gotten into the habit of having a larger meal earlier in the day and having a light meal or snack in the evening--plus I tend to eat later anyway--I usually answer in the negative, but quickly add that I'm planning to have a snack, baked potato, etc. But I've wondered why she persists so in asking. Well, someone at work was trying to teach me a little Tamil, and mentioned that asking whether a person has had her lunch yet (or dinner) is a common Indian courtesy. And if you're at someone's house and answer that you haven't, their gracious Indian standards of hospitality pretty much ensure that you'll be offered something for the meal. Ah! So my hostess continues to ask just because she's Indian.

Another difference that I've been impressed with in this country is the formality of gift giving. As an honored guest at the office where I work, I've often been asked to help give out gifts. For example, when the office had a Christmas lunch, complete with gift exchange, I was one of the first to be invited up to hand out gifts. This consisted of standing on the stage, having a present handed to me, and immediately handing it to the recipient, who had been called up to the stage to receive it. My role certainly didn't seem essential, but I've learned that it was an important one in this culture. As another example, when Alain returned from his Christmas visit to Switzerland, he brought lots of chocolate and wanted to give some to the twenty or so people who work with us in the programming department at the office. He put it all in one spot and invited everyone to come and take what he wanted. People were not reluctant--it was all gone pretty shortly--but a co-worker asked if that was a common way of giving something out back home. Of course, it is; we often like to give people the option of taking as many or as few as they like. But he let me know that here in India, they would always go around to each person's desk and hand him a piece. (And you would not refuse it, but you could slip it to a friend later, if you wanted. I checked.)

Don't get me wrong. Alain's giving out his chocolate in a non-Indian way was not a failure on his part, or an insult to the people at work. Everyone understands that we come from different cultures and different things seem normal to us. But it's interesting to learn what is important to people here.

And it's fun to find out how I can become "more Indian," without coloring my hair!